Three Groups of Parents

So i recently read an article about Hulda Niebuhr.

"Who the heck is Hulda Niebuhr," you might wonder?

Niebuhr was a religious educator in th early 20th century, and she was very successful for her time. She was well-educated and became the first woman inaugurated as a full professor in 1953 at McCormick Theological Seminary. She taught in the division of Christian Education and had served the church in that role for a long time as well.

So what does this have to do with you ministry?

While as a religous educator, not surprisingly, Niebuhr had to face parents much like we do as youth workers. She learned, as we have, that working with parents can be a very challenging thing. I know of many youth workers who have had their fair share of struggles when it comes to parents and too often are tempted to see parents as enemies in their ministries. Such an approach to youth ministry is not healthy, but the truth is that often the parents of our students don't help reinforce the scriptural teachings of our youth ministries in the home. Niebuhr suggested that perhaps the issue that lies behind this challenge is that we don't truly understand the parents.

Niebuhr argued that there are essentially three groups of parents:

1. the first group consists of those whose lives are so busy that they leave the religous education of their children to the church, with no recognition of their part in the educational process. We all know these parents. These are the parents who take no active role in the discipleship of their child. Your relationship with them is no partnership. You teach their kid about Jesus, and they raise their child and often the two seem mutually exclusive.

2. the second group is made up of those for whom the daily necessity to feed, clothe, and house the children demands everything they have. These are the parents who have the best intenti0ns but the pace of life for them doesn't allow for meaningful spiritual formation to occur in the home. These parents are in survival mode. an example of this would be the single mom who works two jobs just so she can pay the rent and feed her kids. Neibuhr believed that the call of the church in relation to these parents, is social before its educational. In other words, looking for ways to care for this family should precede an emphasis on having regular family devotions.

3. the third group of parents consists of those who take their work as educators seriously, though at the same time joyously and in the spirit of adventure. These parents play an acitve and primary role in the discipleship of their child, and in this case the youth worker is simply a resource for the parent and another voice to speak into the life and spiritual adventure of the student.

I think we all hope for parents in group three, maybe we even pray for these kinds of parents. As you've probably experienced that is usually a small group of parents. Most of our kids are coming from homes that resemble groups one and two. When I read these classifications I was challenged to think about how I could help a parent move from groups one or two to group three. I don'[t necessarily think that this is solely the job of the youth worker but I think our youth ministries are great places to begin thinking about how the church can come alongside parents of teenagers and encourage, bless, and empower them to see themselves as the primary spiriutal influence in their kid's life. I love the way that Niebuhr describes these parents, "they take their role as educators seriously but at the same time joyously and in the spirit of adventure."

What a great prayer for our parents, that they might disciple their children in both seriousness and joy, and in a spirit of adventure!

I'd love to hear your thoughts on how we can be more intentional about helping our parents in this process.

A Safe Place, but at what Cost?

The Tension Between “Safe Places” and Theological Reflection

Many youth workers speak of their youth ministries as a "safe place," in what has become an increasingly unsafe youth culture.  In many ways this is an important and critical task in youth ministry.  One of the tasks of adolescence is affinity, the need to belong.  These youth workers recognize the crucial need of young people to belong to something, and more specifically to something greater than themselves.  Naturally it only makes sense for churches to create and foster an environment where all students can belong.  This is a beautiful and unique element of the Gospel, in that it invites all people into the community of faith because Christ’s atonement and resurrection was an invitation for all people.  The creating of safe places is a very theological approach to developing healthy youth ministries.

Yet there is a dark side to too much of a focus on creating a safe place as well.  Too often our desire for safety and comfort can easily lead to a ministry grounded in simply addressing felt needs.  I recently completed a study where I interviewed five youth pastors.  One of the questions that I asked each one was, “how do you go about deciding what to teach your students?”  In one youth worker's response he said that his teaching topics were usually re-active to issues that his students were dealing with.  While it is certainly important to help young people navigate through the challenges of their immediate context, I cannot help but wonder what implications such an approach would have for the theology of which the student is developing.  When asked about teaching students another youth worker responded: “I really try to hit on certain aspects like: evangelism, moral rights and wrongs, family structure, sex and purity, really just some of the big basics.” This approach to teaching is less re-active and more based upon core values (or basics) of which hopefully the students will adopt and embody.  Yet again, I wonder what kind of theology a student would be developing based upon core values such as morality, purity, and evangelism.  These are good and important topics but how are Christian youth ministries helping students develop their own Christology’s, or understanding of the Bible as the inspired word of God, or the Trinity, resurrection, church, and worship[?

Youth workers have the giant task of equipping the church in forming young people in the deep riches and virtues of the kingdom of God.  Unfortunately there seems to be a lack of effective theological reflection in youth ministry today, and too often the result has become what Christian Smith, author of Soul Searching,  refers to as “therapeutic moralistic deism.”  Safe places, and felt-need teachings must certainly be important elements of youth ministry, but they cannot be the only elements.  Youth workers must engage the students in the grand metanarrative of creation, fall, redemption, and re-creation, inviting them into the story of God and discovering within it their own story.  Though in his interview one youth worker spoke of more felt-need core values, he also referred to graduating students “who are filled with awe, wonder, and passion for God.”  What a beautiful mission for youth workers, to seek to guide students into a passionate, awe-inspiring, wonder-filled relationship with their Creator and Sustainer!  May we as youth workers strive to guide our students into a deeper and richer understanding of what it means to passionately follow Jesus in the midst of a dangerous world.

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worth checking out

there's a program on PBS next week about teenagers and the Internet. It looks very informative and well worth a youth worker's time. I've included the info below.

if you haven't gotten your Winterama info yet try to get that done soon. should be a great weekend!

MySpace. YouTube. Facebook. Nearly every teen in America is on the Internet every day, socializing with friends and strangers alike, "trying on" identities, and building a virtual profile of themselves--one that many kids insist is a more honest depiction of who they really are than the person they portray at home or in school.
In "Growing Up Online," FRONTLINE peers inside the world of this cyber-savvy generation through the eyes of teens and their parents, who often find themselves on opposite sides of a new digital divide. From cyber bullying to instant "Internet fame," to the specter of online sexual predators, FRONTLINE producer Rachel Dretzin investigates the risks, realities and misconceptions of teenage self-expression on the World Wide Web.

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/kidsonline/

What I wish senior pastors knew about youth ministry

In the past few weeks I have had several conversations with youth pastors who are frustrated because they and their senior pastor have different philosophies of ministry. Such differences can be very difficult and sadly often end in one of the two leaving the church for another ministry (11 times out of 10 its the youth pastor). I wish churches didn't have to say good-bye to darn good youth pastors so often. Perhaps all that is needed is a little (ok a lot of) understanding. So let me offer a few suggestions for our senior pastors.

Because of the writers' strike I thought I'd give you some top 10 action. I know you're missing it.

Top 10 things I wish Senior Pastors knew about Youth Ministry:

10. Taking junior highers on a retreat or to a camp is not a vacation (if it is, why don't you and your family spend more of your vacation time at jr. high camp?)

9. Not every pastors gathering has to be at 7:00 in the morning. God is just as alive and active at 7:00 in the evening.

8. I know that you like wearing button-up shirts, dress-pants, and dress shoes every day, but shorts, t-shirts, and flip-flops seem to suit me just fine (and if you want theological backing, I'm sure Jesus wore sandals).

7. An effective youth pastor doesn't just sit in an office. She goes where young people are: the mall, schools, Taco Bell and meets them on their own turf.

6. Judging a ministry on numbers alone only tells us how many people show up to our thing. It really doesn't say much about life-long discipleship.

5. Going to a basketball game or band concert is ministry. By doing this I am being present to a teenager. (you try going to a freshman badmittion game and tell me its for fun).

4. Praise your youth pastor from the pulpit. Your authority and voice means a lot to the church. any public affirmation for your youth pastor will go along way with the congregation in its support.

3. Get off your youth pastor's back. It is really difficult to do youth ministry with someone breathing down your kneck (especially if that person doesn't have a tic-tac). Give your youth pastor some freedom to fail and be right there to lovingly guide her when she does.

2. Inquire about what's going on in the youth ministry. You didn't just hire a youth pastor to unload another responsibility of your's (okay maybe you did) and not concern yourself with it. The students in your church are the Church of today and what's going on in their lives matters deeply to your church.

1. Pray for your youth pastor. Pray for your youth pastor. Pray for your youth pastor.

I encourage you to print this out and share it with your pastor. My hope and prayer is that wherever you're at in your relationship with him/her that this can lead to effective discussion and maybe bring about any needed healing.

Although if you could, eliminate my name from this. Some of the pastors know me and I'd rather not have my ordination in jeopardy ;)

Keep loving on those kids,
Erick

Youth Ministry 3.0

I recently attended the National Youth Workers Convention in St. Louis w/the Alfs and Holversons and had an excellent time. I wish all of our NCC youth workers could attend this event becuase it is always such a challenging and encouraging time for me.

Mark Oestricher, the president of Youth Specialties, spoke at the final session and I wanted to share some of his thoughts with you. he spoke on "a preferred future for youth ministry." In his talk he briefly went through the history of youth ministry and based on what he's been observing these days he shared where he thinks we might be headed in youth ministry. Here is how he broke it down:

Youth Ministry 1.0 1930's-40's
- Youth Culture Fixation: Identity
- Key Themes: Evangelism and Correction
- Key Verse: Matthew 7.13-14
Proclamation Driven

Youth Ministry 2.0 1970's-2000's
- Youth Culture Fixation: Autonomy
- Key Themes: Discipleship and Positive Peer groups
- Key verse: Matthew 28.19-20
Program Driven

Youth Ministry 3.0 today-?
- Youth Culture Fixation: Affinity "Where do I fit in?'
- Key Themes: Communion and Mission
- Key Verse: Acts 2.42-47, John 17.18
Not Driven but Present

Marko believes that we are shifting into a new season of youth ministry where programs and events do not matter as much as our presence in the lives of young people. Gone are the days of one-size-fits-all youth ministry programs and strategies (if they ever truly existed). You know your community. You know your kids. each context is different and requires different approaches to ministry. So here were some suggestions that Marko offered as we enter into a communional and missional day of youth ministry:

1. Contextualize: You know your kids and your community
2. Do Less (less programs and events/more just being w/kids)
3. Be communional: Strive to invite your kids into authentic Christian community
4. be missional: model and teach your kids to reach out to others and share Christ with them in tangible loving ways
5. Be present: Spend times with kids. Laugh with them. Cry with them. Talk about the tough stuff with them. Love on them.

I hope Marko's preferred future is the direction we're headed. I think it is. these are exciting days to be in youth ministry. I hope that we have youth groups everywhere doing less and being present to one another more.

Keep loving on those kids!

Erick

The Best Thing I've Ever Done in Youth Ministry

Last year I attended a pastors' conference with one of the other youth pastors in my area. We enjoyed two days of great teaching, encouragement, office episodes, fast food, and world-changing theological conversation in the car. As we arrived home before I left my friend's car he said to me, "we're in this together."

We're in this together.

What you need to understand is that there is a group of youth pastors that I meet with every week for prayer, and I have been doing this for three years. What I enjoy about this group is that there isn't talk of how many kids are showing up to our thing, there aren't any flyers for the next life-changing youth event being passed out, and there is no youth pastor trying to assert himself (yes the male-gender use is on purpose) as the top youth pastor with the best ministry in town. Instead we come with our brokenness, imperfections, martyr complexes, and dreams and we talk and pray about them, and really just look to encourage one another.

This is why when a fellow youth pastor says to me, "we're in this together" I know in my heart of hearts that its true. Its not just several isolated youth ministries trying to do the same thing, rather it is a group of diverse individuals who are passionate about seeing a community changed for Christ.

Why am I telling you this? Because I think that intentionally looking to develop relationships with other youth pastors and community leaders is one the best things I've ever done in youth ministry.

If you're not already connected to some people in your own community who are seeking to share the love of Jesus with young people you need to be. Pick up a phone, stop by a church, find some youth workers and forget about all the "how many kids-do you have a youth band-what's your next big event" crap (it will only kill you). Invite this person out for a cup of coffee or lunch and simply get to know them. Your shared passion for young people will shine through.

As youth pastors we're called not to run programs for teenagers; rather we're called to be a presence in communities and to seek to transform them. Transforming a community is no small task. We're better suited for this task when we join hands with those who share our dreams and passions and face our community together.

so if you're already connected to a group of youth workers give one of them a call and let him/her know you love em. If you're not connected pick up the phone or stop in at the church down the road (don't worry Baptists don't bite).

It might just be the best thing you ever did in your youth ministry.

Looking forward to seeing many or you this weekend!

Grace and Peace,
Erick

Teenage Saints?

I got to preach in "Big Church" this past Sunday.

I decided to preach on Ephesians 4.11-12. I love how the NRSV puts it, "He gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some teachers and pastors..." and now my favorite part, "to equip the saints for the work of the ministry."

If we break down the word "saint" it means something different then a dead person with a building named after them. The Greek word for saint is the same word that is translated as "holy." So a saint is someone who is holy. if we read in Ephesians 5.25-26 we discover that Jesus gave himself for the Church to "make her holy." Jesus, through his blood shed on the cross, made the Church holy, made them "saints." So if you are a part of the Body of Christ, then you're a saint! Cool thought.

"Ministry" is about far more than a nicely dressed person (usually male) giving a nice speech in the front of a room. The Greek word for ministry means "service" or "servanthood," or literally "to wait on tables." a minister was a waiter, someone who existed to serve others. With this understanding of being a minister, you don't need seminary, Bible college, or any of that. You just need to serve. So if you're a servant than you're a minister. another cool thought.

so what's the point? Sometimes I think that others see me as an adult who forgot to grow up, and now spends his time eating pizza, playing xBox with youth, doing some Bible studies, and hopefully keeping the youth off drugs and out of bed with one another.

but here's why I'm in youth ministry...

Because I have the grand opportunity as a leader in the Church to equip some teenage saints to do ministry! what an awesome, big, and humbling task we have as youth workers! So may you know this week that your work is going far beyond just hanging out with teenagers. You're equipping some teenage saints who just might change the world.

and yes, we might eat some pizza and play some guitar hero along the way...

Have you registered for our NCC youth worker training yet?

Blessings to you all this week,
Erick